#but for some reason it feels like allowing others to acknowledge me is really scary

[garmrin]

Yeah, I'm probably non-binary, but I have school and a startling lack of therapy so I don't really care about that right now.

[inkblotsonmyhands]

----------------SPOILERS FOR ARCANE SEASON 2 ACT I BELOW----------------

Alright then, hopefully no one who hasn't watched Arcane S2 Act I yet is reading this. I don't know if this has already been said or not but I was (like so many others) blown away by Act I last Saturday and literally cannot wait for the next two. Full disclosure in case I get any facts wrong (feel free to correct me!!), I have never played League of Legends in my life and know no lore whatsoever outside the show.

I'm fascinated by Isha and Jinx's currently nonexistent but gradually growing relationship. First of all, if I remember correctly, we know that this child's name is Isha only because of a subtitle—she never introduces herself, and no one ever calls her by name. Jinx only acknowledges her grudgingly, and until the very last scene of Episode 3, Sevika acts like she isn't even there.

I think there's parallels to be drawn between Powder and Isha, starting with what I mentioned—both of them are often ignored by the people around them. Of course, Powder was loved by her sister and adoptive siblings and father, most of them just rarely got the chance to really show it. I don't think Sevika or Jinx particularly care about Isha at all as of now, but we don't know much about her past. There's got to be some reason why Chross's men were chasing her, and there's got to be a reason why she apparently has nowhere to go. I would guess she's associated with either Chross, another chembaron, or perhaps a figure like Vander—relevant to the Lanes, but not a chembaron. I would also guess that, like Powder, whatever familial figure she has/had is either dead or has abandoned her.

She's small (although we do not know exactly how old she's supposed to be), does not appear to have much fighting ability, was scared the first time she saw Jinx kill people, and, despite it all, seems to be unnaturally resilient. From the little I've seen, she seems to be good at hiding and sneaking around. These are more traits that seem similar to Powder's. I'd like to add that her flinching when Jinx fired at Chross's men does not necessarily mean she's never seen violence before, but that she's probably never been in the direct line of it. I also think she has some emotional attachment to her hat. That could just be because it's useful, though.

The larger case I want to bring to light, however, is not her resemblance to Powder—but how she differs. There's two scenes where I think this really stands out.

The first is the Jinx and Sevika vs Smeech fight. The setting of the fight bears some similarity to the fight Vi, Claggor, and Mylo get into against some thugs at the beginning of Season 1. Obviously, Jinx and Sevika are much more experienced than the kids were at the time of their fight, but they're also fighting against equally powered opponents. Regardless, the two fights bear a resemblance in where they take place—the streets. Powder is present in one fight mostly because she goes where Vi goes; Isha is at the other because she was following Jinx. Powder, in an act of self-defense, tries to use the bomb she made, which backfires and results in her losing the loot and, in a way, nullifying the others' victory. Isha, in an attempt to help Jinx, throws the bomb that Jinx made—successfully distracting the thug, and allowing Jinx an easy kill.

The second instance is the Jinx and Sevika vs Vi and Caitlyn fight. There's no obvious similarity here, but I think, especially from Isha/Powder's perspective, this is a very similar situation to the fight Vi and everyone gets into against Silco's gang in the warehouse at the end of S1 Act I. Assuming Isha has very little context (just like Powder did, at the time), to her, it's a very big, very scary fight of the people who are "with" her—the good guys—vs the people attacking them—the bad guys. Powder, in an act of bravery, tries to intervene with a device she knows nothing about other than the fact that it explodes—and it does explode, and ultimately kills most of the people she was trying to save. Isha, in an act of bravery, tries to intervene with a gun, something she has presumably never held before, to save Jinx's life—and she succeeds. Another interesting detail is that in Powder's case, Silco's gang, armed with Shimmer, was blatantly and dangerously overpowered—Powder brought in the Hextech, which in theory, evened the odds, or even tipped them in their favor—but still cost them the fight. The fight Isha was witnessing was fairly evenly matched—Vi and Caitlyn had more Hextech weapons, but Jinx did have one Hextech weapon, and she and Sevika had the advantage of it being on their turf. Isha intervened with a simple gun, arguably the weakest weapon on the scene, but still succeeded. Lastly, Powder's intervention was from a distance, while Isha threw herself into the action. It should go without saying that I'm not trying to put Powder and Isha against each other at all—I'm just observing the situations they got put into.

To address the elephant in the room—I am aware that Powder and Jinx are the same person, but I'm drawing a distinction here because I'm examining the similarities between Powder (young Jinx, if you will) and Isha, wondering how Jinx would perceive them (if she perceives them at all), and how that would impact her relationship with her. I have no predictions as to what that may be, but I do expect Jinx and Isha's relationship to be an interesting one, and potentially, Isha may even play an important role in changing Jinx.

One last thing, although this is unrelated to the parallels—I mentioned earlier that Sevika acts like Isha doesn't exist until the very end of Episode 3. When Isha throws herself on Jinx, Caitlyn continues attempting to fire, and Vi attempts to stop her, I believe Sevika triggers the blast, ending that altercation, largely to save Isha. When she realizes that Caitlyn won't back away, she does the best thing she can to put a stop to the situation right there.

I could draw this even further into a Vander-Vi-Powder hold parallels to Sevika-Jinx-Isha theory, but that may be a stretch, even for me.

[taylortruther]

re your tags "the way taylor views and approaches love is way different than mine" "so in general a lot of her songs don't strike me as super romantic"

promise im not trying to start discourse or anything, im just very curious for you to elaborate on that because i find it fascinating. how exactly do you see the way taylor approaches love, and how is it different from the way you do? and can you elaborate on why you don't find her songs romantic in light of that?

the reason im curious is because ive always felt that some of her songs describing situations i think she finds very romantic, always give me mild ick (namely "the other side of the door," i find the idea of begging for someone back who cheated on you and admitting you "need them" kinda icky, but i think she finds it romantic in a way), so its interesting to me your tags kinda echoed that feeling and im curious for you to elaborate

you dont have to answer if you dont want though

well tldr you know how i am a ~touch grass~ nondramatic blogger? i am that way in my relationships too fjkadsl. and i don't think it's a hot take to say taylor isn't like that. she wants to be a lil melodramatic and romantic and passionate and out of control--she described wanting that (and thinking love should make you go crazy) for a long time. and i like passion and intimacy but i do NOT like feeling out of control and the times i allowed it were bad for me.

BUT!!! the really great thing about taylor's view of love is that we have seen it evolve and grow over time. she's addressed a lot of these things herself, because she's tried to unlearn a lot of behaviors that were hurting her! the archer, and much of lover in particular, is so stunning (to me) for that reason--she goes through her mentality of wanting conflict, going for the jugular, running away when things got hard or scary, icing out her partner, and basically begs him to help her through it. she said in so many ways, "don't let me let you go because i am my own worst enemy and i want to learn to be a good partner, not someone who cuts and runs." ie, she learned that cruelty works in movies, but life isn't a movie, life is about support and having healthy conflict so you can grow together. significantly different from "if this was a movie, you'd be here by now." i think she's been really clear about putting the work in and i love that and i will acknowledge that forever because it is hard to change, and she doesn't get enough credit for it within the fandom.

and this is completely normal/expected when you look at the maturity and growth of a high schooler to a 33-year-old woman. you live and you learn! it's really fascinating to see taylor do that in front of us, and i feel lucky she shares that with us.

but in general think taylor is also really driven by proving people wrong, and romanticizes her struggles more than i do--it is what makes her such a hard worker and beautiful artist and so growth-oriented. i'm not like that at all LMAO. like, i grow but i am just... different in my approach. and that's neither good nor bad for either of us.

[ghulehcirice]

Papa Emeritus Headcanons

Primo

- I love the idea of Primo having had a secret prime mover whom he had a child with. Not wanting either of them to be used by the ministry like him and his own mother, he had to say goodbye to the love of his life. He wrote a song for her, he listens to it when he needs that comfort.

- No one really knows why this old man loves gardening so much. If you as him he’ll tell you it must have passed down to him from his mother. But that doesn’t explain the area of his garden that no one is allowed in..

- He doesn’t let many people help with the garden, just one or two ghouls to water the plants, and a few siblings of sun to help transporting the fresh herbs, fruits, and vegetables to the Ministries Kitchen.

- Primo is one of those stubborn old men, he likes having his freedom. Hardly uses the walker which Sister Imperator insists he uses.

- Primo has a bit of a soft spot for the children of the Ministry just like brothers, he designated a little spot in his garden for any children who may need some quiet time.

- Primo has been know to have another soft spot for some of the trans and non binary siblings of sin. He has a calming tea for dysphoria that he doesn’t distribute via the kitchen, rather he keeps in safe in the greenhouse stored in its walls. He only allows those who need it, the location.

Secondo

- No matter how scary this man looks, kids fucking love him. No one’s really sure why but if the Papas are attending an event where there are children, most of them will rush for Papa Emeritus II. Not that he seems to mind that much.

- Secondo has a poodle, fight me.

- I’m sorry but if no one else will say it, I will. This motherfucker drips in that “scary trans man” juice.

- He was the entire reason Primo began keeping the tea blend.

- Secondo has had to surgery but still wears his binder. If you don’t remind him to take it off, he will wear it until his nipples fall off.

- Despite all of that work Secondo has Moobs. The amount of times he has had people accidentally run into them is astounding.

- If you’re dating, He treats you like absolute ROYALTY. We all know what a party animal this guy is, but if you asked him to stop he would. This man is WHIPPED (honestly they all are)

Terzo

- Need I say this again? FRUITY.

- I don’t think anyone will fight me on this one, but there ain’t no way there wasn’t A FEW hookups between him and Omega. Maybe the others if he was feeling extra.

- Many people think Terzo was the first to actually treat the ghouls well but I don’t think that’s true. I like to think they’ve always been treated well but they weren’t really acknowledged by the public until Terzo.

- We all know Terzos rebellious but ive never heard anyone talk about this man probably got so many tattoos !! Secondo has some too, but he likes keeping them a surprise ;)

- Probably has a lot of stupid, small ones. Dates from his many nights drunk and playing truth or dare.

- Can’t tell me this man didn’t try and convince Copia into getting a tattoo when they were younger, eventually he relented and Copia picked. Terzo now has a little rat face on his rib cage.

- Despite how flirty Terzo shows himself to be, he can really be a good shoulder to cry on. Not to mention how good his hugs are.

Copia

- Oh rat man. When he first started being groomed for papacy, he was petrified. Sure he had been Employee of the Month many times, and Papa Nihils right hand many moons ago he was scared.

- He knew how beloved the papas before him were, and he couldn’t help but think little old Cardi C would never live up to them.

- No matter how much ~~His Mother~~ Sister Imperator said he deserved this just like they did.

- And thus Copia had to find his place in the ministry once again.

- It was almost refreshing for him at the same time, once he became papa he could shed from what everyone had known him as ever since he stopped wearing a sisters habit and begun wearing a Cardinals Cassock. He would be that shy little kid anymore. He was Papa Emeritus IV.

- The past papas took to him rather quickly, Terzo almost not recognizing Copia from their younger days.

- Primo gave him access to the tea hidden away in the green house, helping to make him a glass as the poor man scrambled to try and help the old man

- Secondo seemed as stoic as he was, but he seen himself in Copia. He gave him a few nudges and shoves without really letting anyone realize it.

[aeoki]

Candy House - Prologue

Characters: Sora, Natsume & Tsumugi Season: Winter Writer: Akira

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ< The first year ES was established. Middle of February – “Chocolat Fest”. >

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ< Somewhere in the “Candy House” cyberworld. >

Sora: HaHa~♪ Happy Valentine’s Day!

Hello! Sora is also healthy and doing super today! Is everyone well too?

???: Yes. Hello, Sora-kun.

Sora: Senpai!

HiHi~♪ “This” senpai is fluffy and lovely just like usual~!

???: Is that so? I think I was designed with ill intentions, though.

Mophead: Why am I so fluffy? My name also appears to be locked and I can’t change it for some reason. I’m stuck as “Mophead”.

Frankly, I look just like a monster – the scary and gross kind you’d find in your nightmares. Don’t you think so?

Sora: That’s not true at all! You’re adorable, Senpai! Have some confidence in yourself!

Mophead: Adorable? Well, I suppose that’s fine~ My appearance doesn’t particularly bother me.

Sora: Actually, Master~ is always saying you should pay more attention to your appearance because you’re always unfashionable.

Mophead: Haha. I don’t really care about fashion, but I see. So Natsume-kun forced this appearance on me to make me open my eyes.

In other words, Natsume-kun is trying to show his affection for me in another way!

Sora: That’s right! Master~ loves Senpai!

Mophead: When you put it like that, I think I’m starting to get attached to this monster-like appearance!

That made me happy, so I’ll send Natsume-kun a message! I’ll thank him for opening my eyes and I’ll also tell him that I love him!

And sent!

Natsume: I just got gross spam maIL. Maybe I should report it to the poliCE?

Mophead: Spam mail? That’s not good, Natsume-kun! It might be a good idea to report it to the police, but please discuss it with us first, okay?

We’ll always support you, Natsume-kun!

Natsume: You don’t get sarcaSM…? What’s with this monster, anywAY? Could you stay away from mE?

Mophead: Weren’t you the one who forced this appearance onto me!?

Sora: HuHu~♪ Speak of the devil~! Master~ Happy Valentine’s Day ☆

Natsume: ThanKS. Happy Valentine’s Day, SoRA ♪

…You’re in an oddly good moOD. It’s strange for you to be acting this way, considering what you’re about to dO.

Don’t tell me you’re treating everything like it’s a video game because we’re in a cyberworLD? I’m worriED.

Mophead: It’s not very commendable to get too absorbed in video games or the internet, Sora-kun.

It’s not healthy, either. Let’s live in reality, alright?

Natsume: You’re saying that when you’re the personification of unhealtHY…? Being able to focus for long periods of time when it’s related to digital matters is also one of Sora’s strengtHS. We should look on the bright side of thinGS.

Besides, I don’t think the “anomaly” would’ve been fixed if it wasn’t for Sora’s peculiarity and susceptibility to iT.

Sora: HeHe~♪ Was Sora helpful because Sora is a “weird kid”?

Natsume: YeAH. There’s no need to feel guilty or ashamed for being different, SoRA.

You have a pair of eyes that sees things differently than us ordinary people, and at times, those eyes allow you to see things that shouldn’t exist in this worLD.

But dreams are also a “reality” the brain has acknowledgED. Everything that you see shouldn’t also be treated as “unrealiTY”.

The incident that happened this time was very strange and mysterioUS. People with common sense in this world might say it was “something someone who was half asleep sAW”.

But we believe yOU. We do, so we’ll lend you our strengTH.

To love doesn’t mean to affirm everything, but we love you, after aLL.

As I thought, with my eyes that see, I’d like to see you with a smile on your faCE.

Sora: Okay. Sora wants to always smile too. That’s exactly why…

Mophead: I’ve always had this thought, but Sora-kun has never had any issues understanding your oddly conceptual expressions right away.

Natsume: You’re looking at it the wrong wAY. I’m wording them in a way that’s easiest for Sora to understaND.

You act like an older brother with a wealth of life experiences, but you’re still terrible at using “magIC”.

You should learn a thing or two from Sora and work hard to hone your skilLS.

Sora: Right. Sora will also do his best.

Sora will work hard. At the very least, Sora will…

–Bring this world to an end with a smile.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤNext Chapter →

[spicybylerpolls]

can we acknowledge that lots of young girl's (and therefore byler fans) fear of sex stems from parental / role model influence who may have planted seeds to make young and teen girls fear sex because of how it can in fact ruin lives much more easily than for boys because of pregnancy

even in places where birth control and abortions are legal/available/not frowned upon, its still a scary time and i think that sex can be intimidating for this reason as well as all the emotional maturity reasons

we should be allowed to explore sex through fiction if anything but clearly this fear bleeds over into people thinking sex = bad in general, and that trickles down into people shaming others for explorations through fiction like spicy byler

in all honesty most teenage sexual experimentation happens in real life and often with a partner, so to me exploration through fictional characters and scenarios is the most innocuous version of that i could imagine

so the only reason i think many bylers are shaming sexualisation of byler is because they want their show to be a comfortable space that does not remind them of their own sexual insecurities or problems or the harsh reality of real life

after all its set in the 80s and very escapist and nostalgic even for all the horror and metaphor. it's clearly possible to watch the show through a purely escapist lens, and i think for some people, sex isn't necessarily bad, but just too... real? idk. kisses can be sweet and almost fantastical, but mike putting his penis inside will just feels very real lol

Please note that the purpose of this blog is not to be creepy or to make anyone uncomfortable. That's why I created the #spicy byler tag (I will tag all polls with this). If you don't want to see this blog or anything related to it on your feed, please block that tag. Not everyone is comfortable with this sorta stuff, and that's okay.

[yuseirra]

I would like to see pieces of what they are, I want to understand it in an accurate sense, it's that sort of desire I have... I want to know what it is, what it's supposed to be, what it's really like...it's not just about a fictional piece, I think I've always had that desire to understand people, make out of what exactly they could be feeling and how things work... Not only in a logical sense but in an emotional sense,

It's a "want" I feel I naturally have, and that mindset extends to so many things I encounter upon. I think that's allowed me to approach and connect with a lot if things.

But it's such a selfish and unrealistic desire too because everyone is so different and it may be imoossible to fully understand that's not yourself. And I'm so far from being knowledgeable, what I know is so limited, so wishing for something like this can be rude to the other party since I'd be limiting them to only what I can make out of them myself. In that case, it's better to just acknowledge I have a certain lens I use to see things, and realize of its limits while trying to improve what it could offer for me throughout my entire life. That's what I think growth could mean, it can be achieved through a lot of ways but this surely is one! :)

Still, most things do have some common ground, so if you think of it positively, you CAN still relate to so many things that aren't you and go even further than that, it helps you discover things you never anticipated it to be there. I do think there is a point in trying to understand one another through the head and the heart.

Maybe that's why we aren't just a single ball of meshed up entity or some sort of hive mind that shares every single thing in common, it's nice things are different and left mysterious because there's always more room for thought and to explore! Whether it be you can accept it or not(but I hope things still don't have to hurt each other abd be cruel.)

Yeah... It's not a bad thing to be different. It may even go as far to being desirable if you take it this way,

But I really want to understand things and get on the same wavelength and level too!! It'd be sad if I wouldn't be able to get what things are and relate to them! I think...I personally think, it could be one of my reason for living... I talked with a friend sometime back and they said they aren't like this so not everyone feels like it, huh? XD Well to be fair, my energy is so limited and I get biased and selective with what I end up struggling to understand in the end.. I wish I could care for every single thing, love every single thing(perhaps it's one of the reasons why I really love seeing characters like that, seeing them do that feels so healing. And it's relatable to a degree although they are saints and I'm not) but... What I have is very limited. My thoughts, insights, knowledge, resources, experiences, it'll never be enough in order to achieve what I want, but I hope to be closer to it day after day as long as I live, or until I lose this will to!

It's such a nice opportunity for it to have had my thoughts flow like this. I really should read more books and increase my comprehension. And I should forgive myself for being wrong about something whether it be about myself or something else. I get too serious about some things that it gets scary~~

I'd like to say I try though! I am very introverted I think, but, I love a lot of things. I notice that I really love little kids and feel an affection towards people in general although it's a vague feeling of connection I have. I wish you all well! Thanks for being kind to me! I've been talking so much lately, hm..I really do hope it wasn't something too bothersome to take, if I could send some type of positivity through it, it'd be nice~ I tend to be really showy about my emotions but I want the good ones to get out there. The good ones can make others happy. Bad ones.. Make people agitated and worry. I just hope the way I see things aren't what make feel for the worse, I want the opposite to happen!

So yeah. I'm really happy when I had people tell me what I drew were healing(The funny thing is, I DIDN'T purposely intend for that to happen!! I just draw out what I think and make out if things!!) so in the end, maybe that's what I want to do in an ultimate sense!! Learn and understand and heal!! Let's see if I can keep doing that in the future and through the course of my life! I will be very happy to cross ways with you through this desire! Hope you have a good life, I hope I do with mine!

[nicohischier]

get to know me

tagged by: @hischiersjohnston thank you bestie

didn't tag anyone* due to my chronic fear of being annoying but pls snoop all you like

do you make your bed? no, i'm simply way too lazy in the morning to make my bed.

favourite number? 8! i was born on 8/8 so i guess the number just stuck out to me lol

what’s your job? i'm currently in that super fun period of being recently graduated with no prospects, no experience, and no network. also a lot of anxiety. i'm working on it.

if you could go back to school, would you? yeah. i still might go back in a few years to do education or something.

can you parallel park? once upon a time i could, but now i don't drive (classic lack of car woes) so i'm pretty comfortable in saying i can't parallel park anymore.

do you think aliens are real? yes, absolutely. i'm not saying i believe that there's a whole civilized society hanging out a few billion light years away, but the category of aliens extends into every living life form, no matter how insentient or microscopic. the universe is simply too vast for me to even entertain the idea that earth is the only planet or other celestial body capable of sustaining plant life or single cell organism or whatnot.

can you drive a manual car? no! tbh at this point it's been so long since i've drove period, that idk if i'm even allowed to say i can drive an automatic lmao

guilty pleasure? i cannot deny that i have spent money on genshin to get characters/weapons and while i fully acknowledge that i've given into the gacha trap, i spend responsibly and never in excess. it's a game i genuinely love and i do believe that adults are free to spend their money wherever they wish. some people buy cigarettes, i buy little anime characters.

tattoos? world's saddest no. i would like to get some tho, i'm just generally the type of person who gets super invested in something for a while and then drops it after a while, which includes tattoo ideas. right now i'm flirting with the cassiopeia constellation (name of my favourite kpop groups fandom), "we don't need the memories" which is a team motto from haikyuu, line art of a cat because i'm a cat person, and some others with personal significance. and some more fandom ones. but fandom ones are finicky so. shrug.

favourite colour? i do dearly love the colour red. also a big fan of taupe, which is. probably the most boring answer i could give. "oh yeah my favourite colour? beige." god.

favourite type of music? to the surprise of hopefully none of you, i'm a kpop fan. i also really love whatever genre of music guys like alexander stewart and lewis capaldi make.

do you like puzzles? yes so much! i got so into a puzzle the other day that i was up until 5am doing it like i fr just didn't notice how long i was doing it 😭

any phobias? i used to have such a bad fear of spiders. now it's just big ones that freak me out or ones that are on me. i'm working on getting over it though. bugs in general make me feel a bit sick to me stomach tho i won't lie.

favourite childhood sport? i used to be a gymnastics kid lol. was super into pro gymnasts for a little bit, but generally it was a sport i preferred actually doing.

do you talk to yourself? yes and it's so embarrassing because i fucking do it in public without realizing. one day i was in the bookstore talking myself through choosing a book to buy when someone turned the corner and was like "oh! it's just you!". that was almost my 13th reason i am so fucking serious.

tea or coffee? tea if it's hot, coffee if it's cold.

first thing you wanted to be when growing up? wanted to be a vet soooo bad. then i grew up and realized how scary chemistry and biology are and figured maybe i would leave that to the science brained people 😭

what movies do you adore? well my letterboxd top movies are inception, les miserables, the outsiders, and the old guard which is. sorta accurate. the first three are definitely true. i could slot miracle (2004), brokeback mountain, legally blonde, kingsman, etc. into my fave movies list over TOG if i'm being honest but. yknow how it is.

tagging: @sportsnet tyler do this or else.

[fierceawakening]

@notthateither (I think that's your username) I keep meaning to come back to your post on what we agree with and what we don't, and I keep getting distracted by various shiny things. So I'll just say:

Starting off, if you're cool with people transitioning even though you don't understand it and maybe even find it weird or, hell, maybe even a bit scary, then I'm cooler with you than I am with a lot of people. I believe creating the least oppressive world possible involves giving people freedom to make decisions for what we think are bad reasons, so If you're doing that, we're broadly aligned in political terms even if I don't like some of what you believe. (An example for me here? I'm deeply troubled by "I wouldn't have an abortion if my fetus were "normal," but I would if there was evidence of disability." I think that's very, very often going to be influenced by growing up in an ableist society and is rarely going to be about realistic expectations. But a world in which women are forced to carry to term is a more oppressive one than one where they are not, so I cannot stop someone even if I'm 100% certain that is her only reason.)

But as for where our beliefs differ and why, I'd say the core of it is that radical feminism often asserts things about men and/or males (not defining these here although to me they are different; it's not relevant to the point I'm making) are particularly dangerous, threatening, or destructive. I worry that singling out a group of humans and calling them the source of destructiveness is wrongheaded, and in fact the first step on a very long yellow brick road to fascist thinking.

It's not just that I think trans women aren't men, that there's a relevant difference between sex characteristics and social role (though I do indeed think that.)

It's that even if I DID literally see trans women as "males who wish to be women," and this switch as something that people can only sort of do and never manage completely, I still don't see how that's something inherently wrong to want, or that there's something suspicious about people wanting it. It's maybe a little weirder than "I was a stamp collector, but now I want to be a skydiver," but it's that sort of thing. There's nothing inherently untoward about it.

Body modification should be undergone after a great deal of thought. But most humans fly by the seat of their pants a lot, much more than I generally do or generally understand. I used to think it was my job to warn them against this, but... now I don't. People who live high risk, high reward lives are allowed to do so. All that's necessary is that they acknowledge and own the risks they take, and not blame it on other people if those risks are presented to them truthfully and without spin.

(And hell, I'm one of the most cautious, risk averse humans I have ever met, and MY medical-reasons, justified-to-most modifications went wildly wrong. Sometimes stuff really is just life being fucked up and not making sense.)

Why do we have gender? I don't know. I suspect it's a mix of nature and nurture, social factors and vague, difficult to pin down biological ones too. I don't know that I'll ever know for sure.

What I do know is that the oppressive stuff I've seen seems to happen, and really mess people up, when they're demanded to fit into one box and not another. I'm not sure what abolishing gender would mean or would look like, or how we'd make sure we do it justly, but I do know that letting people be is something I can do right here and now, and something I can encourage others to do, and a thing that seems, from the evidence we have, to help most of the time.

Which is why I'm not... well, I'd say why I'm not "gender critical" but it feels very weird to think of myself as not critical of gender when what I mean is the much weaker not sure we should abolish it. So instead of saying why I'm not GC I'll phrase it as "why I'm not a radical feminist."

Fair?

[thelonesomequeen]

She’s living rent free 🦎//

Genuinely not trying to be rude but it’s not like you guys can’t relate. Maybe not pascal specifically but looking back on your Jenny tags, you guys exhibited similar behavior in your dislike of Jenny. This time is AB, and people are feeling similarly to her. I know you have explained previous why you don’t feel the same about how you recognize that your feelings toward Jenny and their relationship was too much and you don’t want to do that and I understand and am not ask you to do that. But rather to say you can’t necessarily judge all of the anons (the ones harassing you and being hateful 100% 🖕🏿 ) and to be a little empathetic I guess idk.

Still love your blog 💖💖💖

Yes and no.

There are times we feel empathetic towards fans with everything going on. We remember what it was like feeling really disappointed during the Jenny days and we can acknowledge for fans that weren’t here back then, they’re experiencing similar emotions now. We DO have empathy for that. We have empathy for the fans who are simply disappointed, and maybe have some negative commentary to make, but still don’t take their comments too far. I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’ve come across a few nicknames for Alba that gave me a small chuckle. But the difference in the dragging Jenny went through vs. what’s happening with Alba isn’t the same at all.

Yes, we did drag Jenny back in the day. We all openly admit to that here. But there was also a limit to our dragging that is significantly different than what we’re seeing now. We dragged her a lot, but when the time called for it, we also defended her when fans went too far or made comments that we didn’t feel were very fair. We did NOT allow Jenny to be dragged for her looks. We did NOT allow antisemitic slurs to be used against her like other spaces did. That language got anons and other blogs immediate blocks from us. Actually, if you not the rules at the top of our blog, the “no slurs/derogatory language” is exactly where that came from. We’d use some nicknames for Jenny, but not nearly as negative as the ones we see being used now for Alba. We dragged Jenny, but we NEVER wished her harm, we never wished her death, we never wished someone would throw acid on her face, we never dragged her looks, we didn’t spread lies about her committing sexual assault, and we didn’t slut shame her. Those are ALL things we’ve seen said about Alba these last few days and there is a massive difference between the dragging we did with Jenny vs. the absolutely disturbing things we’re seeing said constantly about Alba now. If you can’t see the difference there I really can’t help you much.

Part of the reason we don’t want to constantly drag Alba is just because we’ve matured as people in general and don’t want to live in that constantly negative headspace. We don’t want to talk about things we don’t like when we can spend our time doing things we do enjoy and talking about that instead. But the other part of it is because of how far too many fans are going. We don’t want to say anything that’s going to contribute to the negativity we’re seeing in the fandom lately. There is such a thing as adding fuel to the flame and that’s just not anything we want to participate in. Some of the things I’ve seen said do make me truly worry about the safety of Chris and Alba. I might not like the relationship or Alba specifically, but I’m not here to wish harm on anyone else, either. And those of you who are comfortable with doing that sort of thing maybe need to sit down and think about the person you’re becoming because some fans are headed down very scary, dark paths lately. That’s the type of behavior that I do NOT have empathy for. 🦎

[eemcintyre]

Random thoughts I had during my fifth viewing of the cinematic masterpiece "Cocktail" (1988)

Well... more like my 5 2/3 viewing bc I got like 2/3 through it and then my mom was like "why didn't you tell me you were gonna watch it, I would have wanted to watch it too" so I lied about how far I was through it "there's still a lot left we can start it over" and I watched the same movie almost twice in a row in the span of a few hours :)

"Wild Again" by Starship is one of the only good songs tbh, although "Addicted to Love" and "When Will I Be Loved" are also pretty alright. But the soundtrack is lowkey horrendous imo

I stand by my previous standalone post- no one has ever been that excited to get on a fkin Greyhound bus

Benefit of the bus, however- the scene with him and the baby; I feel like Tom just vibes really well w kids because he's such a smiley, fun, and chaotic lil guy and gREAT now I have baby fever again thx 💖

Oh the blatant plot exposition about his parents that they beat us over the head with oh-so-subtly

Oh the foreshadowing throughout that is even less subtle

One of my favorite quotes in any movie, bc it makes me feel better about my life being in disarray and not knowing what to do about it, I guess, is the “Most things in life, good and bad, just kinda happen to ya.”

Tom's still got his high little baby voice 😩

Even as a college graduate, the interviewing scene hits way too hard 🥲😩

Someone needs to acknowledge that the Red Eye looks like the most disgusting thing

Wish the dress shirt and tie fit had been featured more because it does things to me, but the scenes contrasting his first and second shift at the bar are when I first developed TC brain rot and fell in love w that lil goofball

I can’t judge the girl giving him the "fuck me eyes" bc have you seen him, plus she’s showing restraint compared to what I would do tbh

The adult learners usually drove me nuts in my classes (which I know is terrible but shhhhh) but I felt so bad for Sheila Rivkin

This professor really thinks he’s doing standup comedy or smth

Honey don’t put your face on the subway stairs that's arguably more disgusting than a Red Eye

The timeline of this movie is pretty hard to follow tbh; much as I adore it, you never know every time a scene changes whether it's been two days or like 3 months

What the actual fuck was the whole yuppie poet thing about- it's like when I used to watch those 60s Frankie and Annette movies where the weirdest shit would just happen for no reason and I felt like there was some social commentary or inside joke or smth that was just going way over my head that, if I had existed in that time, would have just been like "oh yeah that makes total sense"

The amount of raw sexual energy that this man exudes- I remember someone's post from a while back that was like "why is Cocktail like a 'mom' movie that all the moms are still obsessed with" but just like imagine if you saw this in theaters when it first came out

The only man allowed to wear beach shirts and look sexy, change my mind

I've always thought Elisabeth Shue is so incredibly underappreciated as an actress, smth about her line delivery and expressions just seems very genuine and naturalistic idk

She just orders “a beer” WHAT KIND???

So scary tbh how much he was becoming like Doug even being apart from him for a while

The side eye and shade Jordan gives Doug in this scene cracks me up every time without fail

The reggae singer absolutely popping tf off in his silver lamé suit ��

Brian and Jordan both pulling the “I’m not like other girls” lmao

Sure she’s lowkey a manic pixie dream girl but I still love her

WATCH THE ROAD WHILE U DRIVIN THE CAR BRIAN 😤

If this movie was remade in modern times (God forbid) Brian would 100% be one of those guys with a hustle culture boss up motivational entrepreneur Instagram account. And Doug would perhaps be one of those cringy creepy pickup artists that talks about low-value women and compares them to horses and thinks he can mind-trick them into falling madly in love w him

If someone was waking me up early every morning to drink carrot juice I would commit crimes

The artist guy who made that exhibit looks like the oiliest man I’ve ever seen

Jordan’s dad says “bartender” like it’s a slur

When Brian tears up the check it always makes my lil heart just 💗💫🥺 the character evolution

Why did I only have this thought on my like fifth viewing of this movie, but I wonder if he hadn’t escorted Kerry back to her apartment if he would have gotten back in time to save Doug, and then who knows what would’ve happened bc then he wouldn’t have felt compelled to tell Jordan how much he really loved her and ask Pat for help and all that

WHEN HE FIGHTS EVERYONE OFF TO GET TO JORDAN what can I say, I'm a sucker for grand and melodramatic romantic gestures and proclamations of love

The teasing and singing along at the wedding is getting a little too real guys stop making this awkward 👀😬

I don’t care how unrealistic the end is, and that in real life they would have 100% soon gotten divorced, bc I want to believe that people can change and that all of the tribulation was worth it + enough for Brian to become a good dad/husband and successful but with it not being above and at the expense of his family; he would be such a fun and chaotic dad and their life would be so hectic w twins but I want to believe they could do it :( it comforts my cynical and depression-addled brain to believe they could do it :(

[aetherith]

Time to talk about something that makes me really, really upset.

I feel like I’m always seeing posts on the internet (everywhere but especially on YouTube) speculating that certain characters will die. I’ve seen this for many characters, but most commonly Hunter and next Luz. And gosh, does this piss me off.

Both Hunter and Luz are representation to a group of people to some degree (Bi, neurodivergent, PTSD, abuse victim) and it would send a really awful message to kill them off, especially in a show like this that acknowledges the importance of representation to groups of people. There is no narrative purpose to kill off either character that wouldn't entirely contradict their character arc/the themes of their story and damage the audience that is being represented. Plus, in a show like the Owl House I highly doubt they would kill off a kid. People always bring up the Amphibia argument but the kids that die are brought back in one way or another and it's an entirely different show with different themes. ALSO Dana won't break up Lumity after fighting so hard for them and it would make no sense to kill off Hunter right after Huntlow became a thing.

Literally what narrative purpose would it serve to kill Hunter or Luz off? This might be a shocker to some of you, but a good author doesn’t kill off a character because they can or because it’s sad, but because it serves a narrative purpose and/or concludes the character’s story. To kill off either of these characters (and many others in TOH) would come straight out of nowhere and be completely catastrophic towards the representation heavy center of TOH. Dana didn’t make these characters so that underrepresented groups (and people in general) could connect to them just to kill them off.

Also I hate the underlying idea in a lot of the messages I see that Hunter can get killed off because he’s a white male who is canonically attracted to a person of the opposite gender and also worked for Belos. Like, while Luz and Amity get a lot of people who think they’ll die, I see a lot of people frequently argue against it because of their LGBTQ+ rep/Dana fought so hard for them. Which is absolutely amazing. But believe it or not, LGBTQ+ rep isn’t the only rep that exists. It’s undeniably important but there is SO MUCH other rep in TOH that goes under the radar by most of the fandom. And oh my gosh does it drive me insane. For example, Huntlow is frequently hated upon because it is a straight ship (to be clear if you don’t ship Huntlow that’s perfectly fine, I’m just talking about this particular reason). Are you aware of how absolutely groundbreaking it is to see a plus sized girl get with the guy she likes without having to become thinner. He just likes her right away? And are you aware of how ostracized people with scarring as heavy as Hunter’s are? People who have so many scars are frequently seen as ugly or scary.

Hunter isn’t going to die. Dana has taken an incredible amount of care is giving good representation to people groups who don’t have it as much. So tell me, do you really think that Hunter, the heavily scarred neurodivergent abuse victim with PTSD, is the most likely to get killed off because he isn’t representation? Do you think that in this show that places it’s values on making the audience feel seen will kill off Hunter because the people who connect to him aren’t important enough to get rep? Am I as a victim of trauma/PTSD not allowed to see the character with PTSD get a happy ending? Do you REALLY think that letting the abuse victim get killed by his abuser is a brilliant idea? Wow, you’re such a genius, I guess I’m never watching the TV shows you make if you think that.

I’m sick of people thinking that LGBTQ+ rep is the only rep that matters in TOH. It reeks of ableism, just saying.

[teememdee]

To be entirely honest, I feel like some people are waaay too negative/focused on the negatives of Kai'Sa's design and refuse to actually acknowledge her character. It goes the other way too with people using her as waifu bait, but some people are just... a bit over the top.

Like, I get it, really. I also wish she maybe had some scars, or maybe her helmet had sharp teeth or whatever, but what we have is at its worst, kind of underwhelming.

Love your work by the way, I hope Kai'Sa's in Project L, it'd be fun.

Oh one billion percent. It’s a very easy and obvious criticism to make so I get it. When the beginning foundations of a character is failed by their design (girl seen as a monster doesn’t look like one), it makes for very glaring cracks in what is a good story so people don’t think the story is worth their time (but it is).

But even regardless of how we think the second skin suit looks, when you take the time to actually study the high-res models like the one in The Call, the suit is actually like, kinda gross. There’s zero reason for the cleavage of course, but it’s also, you know, a second skin. The non-armored parts are fleshy, and I like to imagine it pulses a little as it hungers. Even if her face is normal I can imagine that to someone living in a region with creatures of the exact same texture and material, she’d be a little scary / grotesque to look at.

Additionally, her face may be mostly normal and her body still a normal shape, but the fact is that she still can’t take it off. She doesn’t look like a normal human anymore, she can’t. She may end up accepted by a few who see her and who she lets see her like Taliyah, but unlike her face, the armor isn’t something she can hide.

I want to believe they’re also kind of remedying this a little? The Bel’Veth cinematic and accompanying short story Pinwheel are like, my favorite things ever, especially the moment where Kai’Sa’s mask is pulled back to reveal her humanity, whereas Bel’Veth’s “mask” is pulled back to reveal her true monstrous form. To me this is showing that Kai’Sa is too Void for humans, but too human for the Void. “You are alive because I allow you to live,” Bel’Veth says, and she could very easily not allow it if she stops believing that Kai’Sa is useful to her.

I also have a lot of thoughts that a lot of what Kai’Sa believes people see her as is actually how she sees herself but I’ll save that for another day.

At its core, Kai’Sa’s story is the story of a girl who was torn from her loving world and family and she can no longer return to it. Her parents’ daughter has been exchanged for the Daughter of the Void. She wants to retain her humanity but struggles as people reject her and her monstrous traits and abilities are what allow her to survive. She struggles with her memories, they are the only company she has at times and desperately clings to the memory of the girl she used to be, but as a matter of survival she frequently pushes them down and chooses not to remember.

“As a child of the sands, to forget the sun makes me want to cry.” It hurts my heart.

Also my hottest take is that if / when she finds Kassadin again, the problem won’t so much be that Kassadin won’t recognize her because of the second skin (and resulting criticism that she doesn’t look that different) but Kassadin is so consumed by his grief that he simply cannot believe that his daughter could be alive. Bel’Veth says he no longer has his full mind. My ideal reunion has Kai’Sa pleading with him to remember, pouring out the memories she’s kept and has refused to forgotten, but Kassadin does not hear them and denies any possibility that any part of his family still exists. Yes Kai’Sa is my favorite character ever. Yes I want her to suffer immensely.

tl;dr — she should look more fucked up yes, but she would still look nasty irl and the more recent narratives are playing into the contradiction a bit more.

And thank you so much for enjoying my work!!! I’m also really hoping to see Kai’Sa in Project L not only because her model and animations will be awesome but also so I can have her on a team with Ahri and make them kiss

[agentnico]

Memoir of a Snail (2024) review

Oh how f****ing lovely.

Plot: Grace Pudel is a book-loving, snail-collecting misfit that falls into a series of misfortunes after being separated from her twin brother Gilbert. Despite her hardships, inspiration and hope arise when Grace begins a friendship with an eccentric elderly woman named Pinky. From Academy Award-winning writer and director Adam Elliot, Memoir of a Snail is a heartfelt and hilarious chronicle of the life of an outsider finding her confidence and silver linings amongst the clutter of everyday life.

Watching this straight after Flow was a really jarring experience. Flow is a delightful and cosy immersive journey about a bunch of animals coming together during a flood disaster, and working together to survive and become a weird dysfunctional family. Speaking of said flood disaster, it’s never portrayed as a scary or horrifying catastrophe, but more so a purpose to allow the animals to showcase their true skills. Now onto Memoir of a Snail, another animated movie, only this one devours any sense of hope and instead hits you with a non-stop waterfall of bleakness and depression. Everything is crap, life sucks, there’s no hope, I should just go kill myself. Genuinely, should have watched these two films the other way around. Kind of like Barbenheimer.

To be honest I’m not too sure what else I was expecting. Memoir of a Snail sees the return of Adam Elliot to animation, who’s last movie was was the 2009 stop motion Mary and Max, which, let’s just say is about the theme of the burden of living, no matter how many chocolate hot dogs you eat. Definitely worth a watch, as it has a very game Phillip Seymour Hoffman voicing Max, but again, that movie really makes one depressed long after the credits finish rolling. Memoir of a Snail might as well be a spiritual sequel, as the stop motion style is back, now with 100% more claymation nudity and sex, and the bleak tale of a girl who’s life is an endless charade of bad occurrences where she can’t catch a break. Though things felt even darker - three family member characters are killed off within the first 20 minutes; a character being force-fed to obesity and then shamed for it; someone is electrocuted and then burned alive in a fire, a lovely old lady gets dementia…. for an animation this all felt too real. Makes me wonder if anyone has recently checked up on Adam Elliot? Seriously, the guy has some real messed up demons in his mind.

I do think there is a bit of a clash of genres in Memoir of a Snail. On one hand it’s this epic dark drama about the real struggles of life, and on the other it tries to be a wink-to-the-camera comedy with dick jokes and vulgarities being thrown at you. Mind you aside from a couple of amusing moments (a character talking about how she made love to John Denver in a helicopter really got me for some odd reason), the jokes didn’t really land for me. As for the drama, I get that this movie is trying to underline the difficulty of living, but personally I feel with movies of this kind you need glimmers of hope to be sprinkled throughout, as if it really is trying to reflect the horror of life, then you must be realistic and acknowledge that in life bad and good things happen. But no, Memoir of a Snail really goes for the “worst case scenario” and it does become exhausting by the end.

Nevertheless I really do admire what Adam Elliot is doing with these movies. The clay animation is ace, even if at times it feels as if he’s intentionally going for the visually hideous aesthetic, and though I didn’t enjoy being mentally and existentially ruined, I admire this movie for staying true to its dark ambitions. Seriously though, someone needs to give Mr Elliot a hug.

Overall score: 6/10

[callmeoceanplease]

I'm hoping that this year for Jacksepticeye's Thankmas event I can finally do something to contribute. I really want to try this year, especially with how this year is about something I have experienced first hand.

For years I have been depressed. I have tried and tried to reach out to anyone for help, but never got what I needed. I have made so many attempts on my life that I'm surprised not a single one has worked. For years, I have been overlooked and have felt insignificant and small like a background character in someone else's story. I have never had much money - I am still barely scraping by - and I have never had enough to get the help that I needed - that I *still* need.

Earlier this year, some time in August I had been admitted to the hospital after a suicide attempt, and was stuck in the Behavior Health clinic for a week. During that time I was given antidepressants and had a therapist and for the first time probably since I was old enough to comprehend my own existence, I had felt like myself. I felt an absence of that sadness and pain that I've been living with for so many years of my life, I felt relief and peace and calmness and for the first time in a long time, I hadn't had a single thought about taking my life.

The month after my release I had a prescription of antidepressants that I had been taking daily, and everything felt alright for once, but without the ability to get therapy I was told I couldn't refill that prescription, and slowly I started to sink back into that depression.

Feeling yourself fall back into this pit of sadness and self loathing that you'd felt like you were finally able to escape if even for a while, is the most terrifying thing I have ever experienced, even more terrifying than being a child and facing my abusive father when he was drunk and angry.

I'm trying desperately to hold on and keep going, to find some kind of financial stability that will allow me to get the help that I need again to pull myself out of this pit of depression, but I'm struggling and it's truly scary.

This year, if I can, if even a dollar or a message or just something, I want to try to contribute to thankmas, put some kind of effort towards giving someone else a second chance that I myself may never get. I want to be part of the reason that someone else can keep going forward, even if my effort to assist is small and ultimately goes unnoticed in the end. No one should live feeling this pain or sadness or like there's no hope for them, no one should have to deal with the fear of being uncertain if today will be their last day because they can't handle the pain that they're in.

I just want to help. I want to assist in making some kind of difference for others. I want to be there, even if I'm not noticed. I think one of the worst experiences is having someone look you in the eye and tell you to just get over your depression even though they don't understand just how painful it can be. This year, even though it's still early (not even Halloween by the time I'm making this post), I want to be part of why that changes.

So, even though it's still early; here is my acknowledgement to all of those struggling. You're not alone. I may not understand what you're going through, everyone's experience is different, but I know it's painful and I know it's tough. I want things to change, for you, for me, and for everyone else going through this, but in the meantime, please just hold on. It may not seem worth it a lot of times, but there will be a day when it is. I believe that there will be a day when things get better, and I hope you'll be there to see it.

[myaquariusheart]

You by Caroline Kepnes

Joe Goldberg, what a man. So I'm going to write about my feelings about the book and some comparisons with the series. You made me obsessed with a series that have inner monologues that narrate the show. I think it's best when you can see the character acting and also hear what they're thinking. It makes you understand their decisions and reasoning for certain actions and why they do what they do. Chapter 1 is a classic opening and it's amazing I can't fault it, it's when he first sees Beck and I know this may be tapped but I wonder if any guy thinks about me like that with our interactions. You can see already how fascinated he is with her and I love how he talks to her in his head, it's sweet but of course, meant to come across as creepy. In the book, I find it more realistic how Beck and Joe's relationship is rocky and they're not together as much as they were in the series. I think the book really shows how emotionally unavailable Back really was and how Joe is obsessed with her, he literally dealt with her absence well for someone whos a psycho. Also, what's up with Beck and emails? Who even emails. I don't understand why that was even a thing and was even a character trait of hers. She's obsessed with posting things online yet she rarely texts anyone. Anyway Beck is a loser and she wasn't that interesting anyway but maybe I'm being a hater because Love was my favorite love interest of Joe's. Joe was more harsh and scary in the book, even though I was imagining Penn the whole time it was kinda hard for me to read half the stuff he was saying. The sexual element was exciting but also too much at times but its Joe's thoughts and I found them funny and scary at the same time. I wonder what book Joe looks like because there wasn't too much description of what he looked like but I wish there was some sort of description of him. Penn is the perfect Joe but I wonder who else could fit the role? I just know he's handsome and it's acknowledged a lot in the book by others. He did bag Beck and Amy and omg how could I forget Karen MINTY? I loved Karen from the series but I also enjoyed her in the book too. She had a lot of character and was less sweet and wholesome than the series Karen. Book Karen was wild, the complete opposite of Joe and Beck. She was cool and he spoke of her disgustingly tbh. Benji I don't care too much for him, I never have for me he's irrelevant but I get why he's there. Everyone has a Benji. The guy who lies and manipulates the relationship when he doesn't even give a shit about you really. It made her more human and relatable to have a Benji. Nicky was also so much more interesting in the book. In the series, I didn't understand Joe's hate for him that much and didn't understand who Nicky was. I loved when Joe had access to the tapes and he read them all, it allowed me to understand his and Becks' relationship so much more because in the series it was a bit random and just plopped there and it never made sense to me how they even started to like each other. There was also a few chapters where Joe was following Nicky, seeing how he lived, and even tried to kill him but he was saved because Beck messaged Joe. I love those chapters too because it just shows how disgusting Joe is and is literally using his spare time, energy, and life to follow a man who doesn't even know the real him. I also loved the chapters when Beck was in the cage. You get convinced that he might actually let her out of the cage and they could be happy together but of course, as anyone would do Beck tried to escape. Her death was a bit traumatising. One minute this guy crying because he thinks he accidentally killed her and then he does it for real and is super angry. Not to forget he literally shoved book pages down her throat like why Joe. Wasnt choking her enough what was the need. He's so entitled as well but good for him for having self-respect I guess. I found the chapter where Beck finds the 'Box' underwhelming as hell. In the series it was so suspenseful and scary.